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Speak to me, am I thinking clearly? The demons in my head won't seem to rest and for no apparent reason, i'm losing my head. With the colder seasons, i'm dying. I'm trying, but all the while they say to pull it together, but I can barely hold my composure. With these thoughts in my head I would rather be asleep or dead. Back and forth again with all the things that I said, just speak to me! Tell me I'm thinking clearly, because I need to feel like I'm not alone in this again.
Give me a reason to feel whole, give me a choice that says I can come back home where I can feel safe and maybe alive again. Even though feelings of hope come and go, there's always another road to go, and not risking the tightrope is so important.
I need help because I can't stand on my own anymore, this pressure's killing me. I just want to break free, can you show me the way? Even though feelings of hope come and go, there's always another road. Don't risk the tightrope.
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2. |
Insomniacs
02:55
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What are you afraid of? You're always surrounded but you're still alone when contentment comes from within. It's a shame that you're filled with emptiness. You're a walking contradictory, you never make sense to me and it saddens me that you'll never figure out who you really are. You toss and turn and you never learn that numbing the pain makes it worse in the end.
Do you feel guilty inside along with all the secrets that you hide? You're not as quick as you think and you can't hide these things from me, oh no. You can't expect this all to be ok.
Does it taste familiar? Can you feel it on her lips? The feelings of loneliness and desperation caused you to act on impulse. I foreshadowed for months that the blood on your knife would come from my back. Does it eat you alive or keep you awake at night knowing that you'll never feel whole inside?
Do you feel guilty inside along with all the secrets that you hide? You're not as quick as you think and you can't hide these things from me, oh no. You can't expect this all to be ok.
You're gasping for air, you're gasping for air. When all you want is to feel whole inside, you are the reason why nothing ever feels right. I don't feel sympathetic for you. I won't be there to pull you out when the water's too high.
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Lets not think about this twice: I"m not good for much and feeling worthless just feels right. Most of the time I dwell on the things that made me feel alive and I always wonder why they got away. I never really thought about this, why they got away.
I never really thought about this, I never really knew the way to go, and the things that I chose to do have left me alone here (I can't drown out my past).
Give me a reason to believe I'm not just thinking this, that maybe I'll outgrow all of the things that rooted me to them. I just need some help to get out of this one, but hurt is where the home is and I don't want leave it. Will I ever just be worth it? Just one time?
I never really thought about this, I never really knew the way to go, and the things that I chose to do have left me alone here (I can't drown out my past).
I never really thought about this.
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4. |
First Steps Forward
02:59
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I've decided that I will forget you and all the things that you put me through, cold days and empty feelings. I finally feel free from it all and.....
I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I think I finally learned to stop loving you. I finally learned to stop loving you and I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm over it.
I was killing time with the thought of you in my life. You were a terrible idea that i'm ready to erase from my mind and I realize now that it might be for the best to cut you out for good and lay the memories to rest. And I hate to say it, but you were just another god damn mistake. I wish I could tell you how much I hate you for stealing the light away from me. I miss what no longer exists and I've ruined so many good things over it.
I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I think I finally learned to stop loving you. I finally learned to stop loving you and I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm over it.
I thought I knew how to love and you knew how to fake it well. You've got a lot of nerve talking about love in the way that you do.
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5. |
To Have Loved And Lost
03:19
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And I don't want to be remembered, I just didn't want you to forget me. Do I wait for the dead to be alive again or do I accept that I stopped believing in miracles a long time ago and press on?
When did you call his bed your home? Why was it worth leaving me alone? Was it when you left mine and lived a lie to feel alive and pass the time (to give you what I couldn't)? Have you ever been in love? Have you ever felt the grasp of trust break and leave you stuck denying the concept of fate?
We both believed in a god that never seemed to answer when we called and it left me stuck walking back and forth down a road with two dead end walls. Despite my best efforts I'm still resting on the point of no return, afraid to cross that threshold. And I've kept you in my mind all this time that it'd be a shame to waste it and forget it all, but you kill me a little more everyday. I want to forget it all. Despite my best efforts I'm still relentlessly resting on the point of no return because of past burns.
If you want to speak in whispers to me about sin then maybe I'll let you back in. Oh, put your hand in mine, but only for one last time, I want to remember how life can be without the heartache and the dark days. I can't get over it, but I need to get over it.
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6. |
Seeking, Searching
02:31
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I think I've got a good chance of doing things right this time, give me a minute, an hour to explain why. I've got the reasons, you've got the time for me to say, "All I've wanted this whole time was a heart to love me the right way."
You're so intoxicating, put your arms around me and keep me here with you tonight. What do I have to do to reach you?
I've been sitting here patiently waiting for you to open up the door. Things may seem broken and out of place, but give me a chance and I'll show why I'm being honest with you.
You're so intoxicating, put your arms around me and keep me here with you tonight. What do I have to do to reach you?
Just please keep on talking, distract myself from the world inside of me.
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7. |
The Life I'm Left With
03:34
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I've been lost on the long road and the lights are dimming out, yeah, I, I lost my sense of direction when you led me to a place where I couldn't be fixed and you knew I was broken, you knew I needed you.
Even though my hand didn't fit right with yours, I just wanted you to keep me around and now I'm lost in the sound of your heart beating along with someone else's.
I've been told that I deserve better, but, all I can do is withstand the harsh weather and am nothing more than a shelter for someone else. No one has been able to free me from myself. I need you.......I need you to know that I wasn't ready for this and lies can go deeper than you can imagine.
Even though my hand didn't fit right with yours, I just wanted you to keep me around and now I'm lost in the sound of your heart beating along with someone else's.
The lines that are getting darker beneath my eyes are a constant reminder as to why I don't want to fall in love.
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